Holborn, 9th August

Went out for lunch in my suede boots: an inexcusably poor error of judgment. If this rain continues I’ll get trench foot, my legs will be amputated, and I’ll have to go around on a skateboard.   Might pick up some tinned food from Lidl on the way home, for the impending nuclear apocalypse. They […]

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Finsbury Park, 8th August

It’s been an uneventful couple of days so I made a Thai green curry whilst listening to the James Bond theme tune for some added excitement. There was an outbreak of violence in the evening when AdAm wanted a mini magnum for pudding, even though he’s supposed to be watching his figure. I had to […]

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St. Albans, 7th August

So we’re having a fam dinner with great auntie Rosemary and uncle Archie and all their crew. At first I was utterly dismayed to discover that the venue for this delightful rendezvous was a wetherspoons, but I’ll admit I spoke too soon. I mean just look at this: Astounding.   However I do have to […]

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Nice, 5th August

Oh lord this is so tense. Waiting for easyjet to get its act together and fly us to Stansted – seven minutes more on this godforsaken plane and we all get £250. Would be really helpful if someone could have a little anaphylactic shock or maybe an epileptic fit. Just a small one obviously.   […]

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Fréjus, 4th August

Had an absolute mare this morning when we spent all our euros on the train to the middle of nowhere to go canoeing and ended up in this mysterious gypsy camp instead: Tragic.   So anyway, we decided to cut our losses and go to the beach as per, except this was yet another peasant […]

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Cannes, 3rd August

So yesterday we went to this karaoke bar. They wouldn’t let us sing, and a man who was slightly like Lenny from Of mice and men played coco’s leg like a drum. Goonjen did a handstand and kicked the bouncer in the head and then we went home. Today has also been pretty emotionally stressful […]

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