Tignes, 22nd December

Mieke just showed me engagement photo of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle – horrified by inappropriate level of intimacy. Charles and Camilla Christmas card much more tasteful. In more sinister news, it seems the KGB has finally infiltrated the Alpine skiing community: Nowhere is safe anymore. Aoulie. Advertisements

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Chalet Nadine, 21st December

It has not been a harmonious evening. Mum’s currently deciding whether or not she’s a Zionist and Mimi has just stormed out because Dad and Chris are bemoaning their bad luck at being white, middle-class males. As Dad put it: “We’re fucked”. Luckily all the parlour games we’ve been playing this holiday are based almost […]

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Val d’Isere, 20th December

Before dinner Mimi and I decided to pop into the village to soak up some local culture, by which I mean buy Carambars. The local authorities have settled for an incongruous Chinese New Year theme for their Christmas lights. In an attempt to be festive, they’ve also hired someone to create some sinister snow sculptures, […]

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Val d’Isere, 19th December

Got clothes-lined by a safety barrier trying to make it onto the same chairlift as Mieke and Mum, very humiliating. Other than that, the day has been mercifully incident-free. Have discovered that the people below us have a hot tub on their balcony. Wonder what I’d have to do to get in there? Quite tempted […]

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Chalet Nadine, 17th December

Our chalet is v lovely, but there is no Christmas tree – very bizarre and unsettling. Maybe chalet company is run by jehovahs witnesses, despite predominant religion in France being Catholicism. On the other hand, AdAm is so impressed with the nice bathroom* that he’s said he’s only going to do sit down wees here, […]

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Lyon Airport, 16th December

Forgot to undo my seatbelt before attempting to get up and leave the plane, and thought for one horrendous moment that the people of Norwegian Air were trying to take me prisoner. When I finally made it off the plane and into the terminal, Mum made us all limbo under the barriers in the passport […]

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Gatwick Airport, 16th December

Made it through security incident-free. Always makes me nervous because of the time I accidentally tried to smuggle in an illegal blade and got held up by the police. (They said I could either surrender my weapon or get a criminal record. I surrendered the weapon.) In the departure lounge I spotted a child with […]

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